Real men are better than Hollywood guys, even if they don’t do it all perfect

30 10 2011

DISCLAIMER: This is not really about anyone in particular, so don’t anyone be reading in to anything! This is just reflections of a movie.

So when he says he’ll call and doesn’t, does that mean that he lost your number? Or he’s just not that in to you? The rules are confusing.
Way to go about making one confused about guys. As if it wasn’t hard enough…
My roommates, and I watched “He’s just not that in to you”. If I wasn’t a Christian, I’d say it was a good movie. It was funny, had all the necessary drama, even had a pretty good “happy” clever ending. (Okay, I actually did like how the guy put the ring in his old pants pockets that she wanted to throw away. He told her to check the pockets for valuables before she threw away the pants. Alas, there was a ring box in the pockets. Cute.)

But the way that I see things is through my “Christian-colored” glasses. And looking at it that way, it was bad. Trashy. Nothing of what was “True, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy” was in there. Our hearts are supposed to focus on Jesus. Not chasing men. Or thinking of them as someone to “get” and “win”. Especially in Christian relationships, those people are our brothers/sisters, and we’re called to honor them in our thoughts, as well as in our actions. We’re supposed to be seeking after Jesus. Chasing him, and his heart. And if you accidentally run in to someone who’s exceedingly helpful to your journey while you’re chasing Jesus, then consider them a good running buddy, and run together. 🙂

Yes, I can be a normal girl and gush over some crush for 20 minutes to my roommates. But all the while that I’m doing this, I think that I’m being silly about it, and can’t believe I’m carrying on like this; I mean, what is “normal”? Because, in reality, I’m not a normal girl– I’m an IT girl, need I say more?, lol. But isn’t that what girls are supposed to do? Talk about that one cute guy you have your eye on and tell all the juicy details? That’s what happens in the movies…

But living in reality this isn’t the way it goes; or does it? What are the movies? How we’d like real life to be? Our fantasy life about how it should look? Even in the church, we have this combined view of relationships. We watch so many movies about relationships, rather than learning about it from God’s point of view in the Bible. We take to heart what Hollywood tells us. That’s why I don’t watch many movies (and maybe wish I didn’t watch this one). Each new movie we watch, it seeps a little more in to our worldview. We being to think that it’s “normal” to do those worldly things. We buy in to this stuff!

I remember someone once saying that chick-flicks can be just as harmful for girls as porn is to guys. Now maybe this is too harsh, but I think it’s an interesting thought. Both of them are things that distort reality. It presents the opposite gender in an unrealistic way; in a way that a real person, a true lover, can never meet up to, as these fictitious “characters” are airbrushed or screenplay-directed to “perfection”. There’s an expectation that the guy will be prince charming in every way. That he’ll pick up on the fact that you’re interested in him and wish that he’d ask you out with the hints you give, say all the cute things at the perfect time, never forget to wash the dishes, keep his side or the room clean, always smell good.
Now, wait a second. Yes, I do want one of those. But I don’t want someone just to tell me cute little things and be all sweet and romantic — unfortunately I’m a realist and am not much of a romantic (but I do like flowers! ha). I want someone who will serve. And not just me, but also others around. Not when I’m looking, not for me, but for God. That they would be a person that love gushes out of — to those around them, to their neighbors, to the poor, to those who are annoying, and to those who care for them. Let’s be realists and accept those people who have flaws because no one’s perfect. Heck, I hope no one is waiting for the perfect me. Because it’s going to take a long time. And I’ll probably be dead before I get married at that point, then 😉 But let’s look for REAL people, not Hollywood people. They don’t exist. Get over it.

Also, is the end goal a ring? Marriage doesn’t signify that you’ve made it. I went to a wedding reception tonight and it was great to see the couple together. They’re people that I can see being better for the kingdom of God because they’re together. That’s what it’s all about, right? Being a helper, serving one another, being an example of Christ and the church. This is the most tangible example of Christ’s love for the church — the husband and wife picture. Yet, we get caught up in the other “Hollywood” drama of it all.

And, THE END. Yeah, how do you end something like this? Thanks for reading my ramblings. Hello insight-into-a-non-normal-girl’s-mind. Or maybe you’ll think I’m more of a normal, confusing girl with all this talk. 🙂

I know there are other sides of this that I didn’t talk about, but that’s all for now. So don’t think I’m too crazy. I’m not ALL against romance. Hey, God created that part of it too.

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2 responses

30 10 2011
Isaac

Great thoughts, Amanda. I enjoyed your thoughts on the cultural norms of our times and the the contextualization of Christian principles to these current cultural trends. I am not sure these are the thoughts of a confusing girl. I guess this is a very thoughtful, Christian perspective from a realistic person.

Isaac

4 11 2011
Kati

This is great! Totally what I needed to hear today =)
and…you’re pretty normal by my standards!

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